I’m standing backstage at a Mormon wedding, wearing a jean skirt and a Fruit of the Loom tie, listening to the father of the bride compare his daughter to a diamond – she is faceted and sparkles on the inside out – and quote the song “Butterfly Kisses,” and all I want to do is call you, but I know it’s too late there.

It’s late and I’m tired and I’ve heard “Wicked Game” too many times today. Why do people think that’s a good song to play at a wedding?