Moot Point

Yesterday I realized I could pinpoint the exact moment when I stopped caring about my job.

Right now I’m trying to sum up three years of my education in two sentences. You can imagine how well this is going.

The past couple of weeks have been really blah. I’ve been totally overstressed about grad school, but also can’t wait for it to all be over so I can bake and hang out and then do this all over again for the next application. (Which won’t be as bad, especially because I’ll have letters of reference all out of the way).

I am so psyched for Christmas baking. I really enjoy baking but I don’t do it that often because if I were constantly making pastry I’d be constantly eating pastry. But a) in the holiday season, you’re totally allowed to eat pastry all the time and b) there are a billion people to give pastry to.

I’m not going to reveal my baking plans, but suffice it to say that my shopping list will include dark and white chocolate, cream cheese, two kinds of nuts, and those red and green glace cherries that no one really likes but are so insanely festive. (These are not all for the same recipe).

Also, I’m (naturally) making eggnog. (As you probably don’t recall, I invented the eggnog latte, but I’m trying to stay away from Starbucks this year. This is not hard as the nearest one is like, a bus and a streetcar away, but there’s one by my work that I’ve been handily avoiding for the last few weeks.) However, the love of eggnog has stayed with me. I think that storebought eggnog is vaguely disturbing, but when you make it yourself and add liberal amounts of rum, it becomes suddenly delicious.

I don’t know, I’m just really tired.

P.S. I used the “Search” function that wordpress provides for the first time ever to find that eggnog post, then I got obsessed with searching for things. I write about chocolate and coffee a lot. Also, the search thing seems to suggest things to search about, and one of the auto-search options was “beyonce”. So either I’ve searched for Beyonce on this computer before, or I’ve mentioned her so much she’s automatically considered as something you might search for on my blog. I have to say, I’m kind of over. I wasn’t so pysched over the new Destiny’s Child stuff, especially this most recent song. It’s very “I believe the children are our future.” (Another one is “tampon”. If you scroll down on that one, you get to see the part where I talked about Aloysius J. Tampax and grossed out a bunch of my friends).

I’m having a really hard time actually completing my first round of applications. I mean, I’m aware of how much this means to my future, but here I am thinking about the dim prospects for the America’s Next Top Model finale (I miss you Kim!) and what colour I should dye my hair.

Seriously, this hair thing is a big issue for me. I want to go slightly darker and more chestnut-like, for the holidays, but historically, when I’ve tried to go darker than my current shade, it’s been gothy at best. (Word to the wise, “dark auburn” is hair dye-manufacturer code for “burgundy”.) I think I might risk it though.

Now, I’m going to go probably fall asleep at 10:30 reading in bed, because I am living the exciting life of a young single girl in the big city.

What a crappy week. Mr. Gouda’s cheap cheap chickpea soup? Actually basically canned chickpeas. It tasted like feet. There’s fine print on the can that says “product may not be exactly as pictured”. I never throw out food.

I’m basically obsessed with grad applications, which are really boring to talk about. It’s down to the wire, but I think I’m actually going to get the first round in comfortably.

I’d much rather be obsessed with Christmas baking.

On the upside, it was really nice to go visit an English prof I haven’t had since third year and have her go “Hi, Brenda!” because she remembered who I am. You don’t really ever think profs remember you from year to year, so it’s nice, to know that I’m more than a number to at least a couple of people at my large, institutional university.

And I think I saw Mark McKinney in the subway again. I can’t believe the Kids in the Hall ride the subway. I bet Kevin McDonald doesn’t ride the subway. Also, I think he lives in L.A. or somewhere cause he’s been on every sitcom ever. You don’t film sitcoms walking up the stairs at Spadina station, that’s all I’m saying.

Also, I’ve stopped being able to fall asleep. And I have pain in my shoulders from holding them so tensely.