Moot Point

I’m off to Vancouver. Boarding pass is printed: row 13, seat F.

It’s a good thing I’m not superstitious.

I am supposed to be packing, but am in fact not actually doing anything that resembles packing.

In other news, we went so see Snakes on a Plane. It was kind of awful in one way, but basically amazing in every other way. It was even, and this surprised me, kind of scary. Like everyone, when I heard Samuel L. Jackson was making a movie entitled Snakes on a Plane, which he had signed to before even reading the script, I thought — as did everyone — that it was one of those things that was so great that it sounded made-up. It never occurred to me that being on a (motherfucking) plane with (motherfucking) snakes would actually be pretty frightening.

Think about it: poisonous, slithery, nipple-biting snakes. In an enclosed space. In the abstract it’s ludicrous and funny, but when I actually saw the snakes, attacking people in the airplane bathroom, crawling around the floor, dangerously near people’s bare feet, I was cringing. I had to watch some parts (and not just the infamous “Get off my dick, you crazy snake!”* scene) through fingers clasped over my eyes.

Obviously this is not the most ground-breaking post in the history of blogging, but I’m moving in like three days, so that’s all I’ve got. Having a plane full of snakes? Actually pretty scary.

Oh and we saw the trailer for Rocky Balboa, which I’ve mentally retitled Rocky VI: Now This Is Just Getting Ludicrous.

*Not verbatim

So I really feel like I’m starting to get things together. We’ve got an apartment, we’ve booked movers (really soon!), so all that’s left is booking flights and packing. The place isn’t nearly as nice as the dream apartment, but it should still be okay. And the rent is $150/month less, so we can afford cable and a bus pass. (Did you guys know that Turner Classic Movies is like, Channel 40-something in Vancouver? It’s like a dream come true!)

Anyway, I’m kind of sad that I’m going to be gone by next week. I don’t know when I’m going to have time to see everyone I want to see and I’m going to miss Toronto something fierce. So instead of writing about that, here is a list of things I like:

• Bolthouse Farms Prickly Pear Cactus Lemonade: This was really good — it kind of tastes like Kool-Aid, but it’s made of natural stuff.

• Annie’s Papaya Poppy Seed Salad Dressing: I thought this would be kind of sweet, but it’s not at all. It’s so inexplicably delicious, I ate two whole bowls of salad. It’s like crack, but for salad.

• Sparkling Water: So much better than that creepy flavoured, sweetened water that all the water companies have now. And the sweetener makes it kind of foamy when you shake it? Ew.

• Scrubs: I watched the whole first two seasons really fast. It manages to be really funny and totally heartfelt at the same time. It’s actually made me like Zach Braff again. (Which I stopped doing after the badness and self-indulgence that was Garden State.)

• TVTropolis: Now that I’m done work, I can watch reruns of 90210. Every day. Today Brenda is in Paris (badly) convincing Dean Cain that she’s French, Donna’s scolding her, Kelly and Dylan are sitting on the beach – underscored by “Damn, Wish I Was Your Lover,” Steve is starting to take an interest in David’s “music” “career” and no one cares what Brandon’s doing. Why do they only show this during the day? I guess for the same reason they only show Newsradio on weekends, but Grace Under Fire runs constantly.

In other news, that Rogers commercial? The one with those funloving kids in the car? On the road trip with the mp3 phone? With the catchy indierock song? “I know that song,” I thought to myself. After googling “drop kick queen of the weekend,” I remembered why I knew the song: The Dudes! They are a wicked band from Calgary. So now they will make some money and more people will hopefully listen to them. Go The Dudes!

So dudes, as some of you may have read, we didn’t get the dream apartment. Also, any other apartment. We’re waiting to hear back from one place, but we don’t know if we’ll get it.

In summation, I’m moving at the end of the month, and I have nowhere to move to. I’m sure that when we have a place locked down and plans are more in motion, I’ll go back to being excited about all this, but right now, I’m so stressed out I want to die. I’m on vacation right now, with my female maternal relatives — we’re heading to Vermont, home of Ben & Jerry’s and some outlet stores, tomorrow and I have to try really hard to actually relax and enjoy myself while I’m on my trip.

In other news, my toilet’s started leaking and my iPod’s broken. I actually stamped my feet when I realized the latter.

On the upside, yesterday was my last day of work. And Little Miss Sunshine was pretty good. Yay unemployment!

So I woke up this (yesterday) morning, feeling tired and dehydrated and vaguely not-right, but I figured that once I had some water and a bagel I’d perk up.

I knew that it was not going to happen when I couldn’t finish my beloved shrooms and swiss burger. So I decided that “getting chills from the air conditioning” probably meant things that weren’t good.

It’s awesome when your boss yells at you for wanting to go the bank in the morning, which he had earlier said was fine. When you have a fever.

I think it’s the closest I’ve ever come to crying at work. Sigh. I’m not going to miss this place.

List of good news items:

• So you guys? I don’t want to jinx anything, but Alex and I maybe actually found an apartment. I’m not saying anything else until it’s final so to avoid the aforementioned jinxage.
• There was a free Weakerthans show at Harbourfront this weekend. The only thing better than one of your favourite bands coming to town? One of your favourite bands coming to town for free. The freeness and outdoorsness meant that it was all outside, which means I got to watch a blonde, pink-dressed five year-old girl rocking out to “Watermark.”
• Backpacks. Seriously you guys. Backpacks are amazing. They distribute weight better than messenger bags, they have a lot of pockets for all your sundry things, and mine came with a laptop slot. Oh yeah, and it cost twenty-nine dollars at MEC. I am moving to Vancouver, after all.
• Dudes, I saw this call for papers for a Veronica Mars book on TWOP today! I kind of maybe think I might submit something. But enough, again with the not jinxing. (Edit: a working link.)
• Last but certainly not least is Work: The Final Countdown. I have four work days left.

In less awesome news, it is somewhat hot here. I don’t know if you heard.

*I don’t usually talk about where titles come from, cause it’s usually obvious or boring, but this is a quote from a story that Bob Saget (who I think I love now) told on Conan the other week (in a rerun) about going to Vegas with Stamos and them getting so drunk they woke up in the same bed. It is something the Stamos apparently actually said.

Morning weather scroll:

Now: 28. Feels like: 40.

It is before 9 AM here people.

It went down to 27 overnight.

I have nothing witty to add.

The Hold Steady is awesome. Everybody was sweaty but they still played a second encore.

I need air conditioning.