So I never followed up my weirdly enthusiastic reality show cheerleading post after Pasha’s swift elimination (apparently people weren’t so into his weird mannequin-dress solo — I admit have a greater than average tolerance for camp). Anyway, about halfway through the two hour finale I thought I should have liveblogged it, as the kids say, but I only realized it halfway through.

So instead I thought I’d just post a lazy list review that basically won’t make sense if you didn’t watch the show. (Obviously, spoilers follow.)

  1. Did you really believe Cat when she said that there would be no filler?
  2. Nicole Scherzinger looked gorgeous when she emerged from her big box, but did anyone find it disturbing that she was singing about “doing anything you want” while she was literally confined in a box? There’s like 18 different pop-theory places I could go with that right now. MUST QUELL URGE TO BE PRETENTIOUS.
  3. I’m glad Sarah and Jesus got to dance together again, and Danny and Anya (not to mention Sarah and Pasha, my fave couple). I was concerned because I didn’t think that that many people from the bottom half of the top 20 were featured last year, but I guess they screwed up the eliminations badly enough that they had to feature them and make it clear that Hok and Jaime’s hummingbird number would be on the tour. I still lament that we never got to see Pasha and Anya together though.
  4. Honestly, I love Cat Deeley and I was moderately excited for her big “dance with Nigel,” which she teased before every commercial break. I would have been okay if they’d pasted their creepy giant heads onto other bodies digitally if had actually been funny to anyone besides Nigel Lythgoe, but damn.
  5. Shut up, Ryan Cabrera.
  6. The first time the Mia Michaels “dead father flower dance” aired I thought it was pretty dull and that everyone was kind of emotionally obligated to be effusive because of the “dead father” issue, but watching it again, it was actually okay. Their movements were clear and emotional, and I remember thinking at the time how great it was to see Lacey really get into character and not just play to the cameras. (Whatever, I liked Lacey, but her weakness was definitely seeming connected to the material).
  7. I kind of love Shane Sparks. Like, as a guy. He seems really sweet and genuine, and also appears to be a tiny, tiny man. How nice was it that he was totally ready to follow up with the awesome tiny robot guy from the auditions? (So much more necessary than the clogger. WTF. That kid kind of creeped me out. Too much cognitive dissonance.)
  8. As for Sabra’s win? Eh. I was totally rooting for Danny, but I’m happy to see a girl win, and it’s nice to see the title go to someone who doesn’t have a million years of training and blood and professional ties to major figures in the dance world. And she is obviously an adorable girl and a good dancer, I just didn’t share the judges’ opinion that she is made of pixie dust and moonbeams and that bluebirds help her get dressed in the morning and then she shoots rainbows out of her eyes.

Whatever, it’s still the best reality show.