1. Dolly Parton is great in every possible way.

  2. Why do I watch American Idol? Not that many people I know watch it, so that whole thing of watching it to feel plugged into culture thing is right out. I don’t particularly like it or any of the stars on the show, except sort of Ryan Seacrest. I would never buy an album put out by a contestant with the possible exception of Kelly Clarkson. I know why I watch other reality shows, but I honestly don’t know why I feel compelled to obsessively watch a talent show whose content is basically 100% promoting things. I realize that all TV shows are basically just “content” to get people to watch advertisements, and that often the need for ad money seeps into the actual show itself in the form of product placement, but I believe that good art can be made within this structure. American Idol really doesn’t transcend the necessary evils of capitalism though: the genius of the show is that they milk them for all they’re worth. The contestants star in “Ford Music Videos.” The judges drink Coke-branded cups. You can download everything on iTunes now. Also, the whole show is basically a giant ad for the debut CD of whoever wins.

  3. I don’t even like any of the contestants this year!

  4. Brooke White is now officially more annoying than Carly Smithson.

  5. Seriously, why do I devote so much time out of my life to this show again? I don’t know.