I’m sorry, I can’t even write anything contemporary or even coherent. I just finished watching Twilight.

Did you know vampires play baseball?

Vampire Baseball

“You’re my own personal brand of heroin”

Also, they sparkle?

sparklingedward090709

“And so the lion fell in love with the lamb…”

Uh, and they take you to the prom and let you stand on their feet and dance?

twilight-prom

It’s just so potent, so much Pacific Northwest rainforest and bitten lips and feelings. And it ends with a vampire showdown in a ballet studio full of mirrors that they don’t even try to integrate into the story. It’s totally ludicrous and the things it has to say about women and sex are a bit horrifying, but I can’t stop thinking about it.